The Bible tells us very little about Jesus’ childhood. We find his birth depicted in the Gospels of Matthew and Luke; but not much more after the Wise Men’s visit. Matthew’s Gospel tells us that God directed Joseph to move his family to Egypt (Matthew 2:13-14) and later to return to Israel (Matthew 2:20-23). Other than that, the only mention of Jesus’ childhood takes place in the second chapter of the Gospel of Luke.
It is there, in the end of the chapter, that we find the story of Jesus being left behind in Jerusalem, when his family had gone there to celebrate the Feast of Passover. This was not only a normal thing for them to do; but also, for all devout Jews, as it was one of the three pilgrimage festivals, when the entire nation of Israel was to journey to Jerusalem. But something went wrong for Joseph and Mary’s family this time, as they started the journey home without their son. It wasn’t until they had traveled a full day, that they realized he had been left behind. Returning, they sought Him, eventually finding Him in the Temple, with the teachers of the Law.
So when they saw Him, they were amazed; and His mother said to Him, “Son, why have You done this to us? Look, your father and I have sought You anxiously.” 49 And He said to them, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” 50 But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them. 51 Then He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them, but His mother kept all these things in her heart. – Luke 2:48-51
There’s so much here, in this story, that it could take a considerable amount of time to unpack it all; but we’ll just concentrate on a few points. First, we find in verse 42, that Jesus was 12-years-old when this happened. That’s significant in the Jewish culture; because at 12, Jewish boys have their Bar Mitzvah, a socio-religious ceremony where they pass from childhood to manhood. While they are not considered a “mature man” until 30 (the age that Jesus started His ministry) they are considered men at this point. The significance of that will become apparent in a moment.
Jesus responded to Mary’s inquiry about seeking Him, by asking her, “Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” This obviously wasn’t talking about Joseph’s business as a carpenter; but rather about the business of Father God. In asking this, Jesus was telling Mary clearly who He was, in a way that she should have understood, even if nobody else did. She had been watching the miraculous events that surrounded her Son’s life all along and knew who He was; the Son of God.
But it is verse 51 which interests us now, as it says, “Then He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them.” In the Amplified translation that’s a bit clearer, as it says, “And He went down with them and came to Nazareth and was habitually obedient to them” (Luke 2:51a Amp).
Jesus being habitually obedient to Mary and Joseph tells us something important about them; they never told Jesus to do anything that He shouldn’t do. That shouldn’t be all that surprising, considering that God the Father personally chose Mary and Joseph to be Jesus’ parents; but it’s nice to see the confirmation. It backs up what it says about Joseph in the Gospel of Matthew, where it calls him a “just man” (Matthew 1:18).
But it goes farther than just saying that they never told Him to do something wrong, as most of the Old Testament Law dealt with things that they should do, rather than things that they shouldn’t. We tend to see the Law as a list of “don’ts” mostly because of our reading of the Ten Commandments. But there are actually more commandments, both in the Old Testament and the New Testaments, which tell us things that we should do, than there are that tell us things that we should not. So, Mary and Joseph not only didn’t tell Jesus to do anything wrong; they apparently also told Him to do a lot of things that were right as well.
Going back to what I said about Jesus being a man at the age of 12, and combining it with verse 51, we see something truly remarkable, at least from the viewpoint of modern culture. Today’s teens struggle with obeying their parents, let alone young adults that are still at home. Yet Jesus “habitually obeyed” His parents. That tells us a lot about His integrity and desire to obey His Father’s commands.
The Only Commandment with a Promise
When we talk about the Old Testament Law, most believers today think that we’re talking about the Ten Commandments. In reality, the Old Testament Law, which is included in the first five books of the Bible, includes a total of 613 commandments, not just those ten. The “greatest commandment” (Matthew 22:36-38) that Jesus quoted to the lawyer isn’t included in the Ten Commandments, but rather in Deuteronomy.
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! 5 You shall Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.” – Deuteronomy 6:4-5
Nevertheless, it is one of the Ten Commandments that applies to the question for today, specifically the Fifth Commandment. Both Jesus and Paul quoted this commandment. We’ll look at where Paul wrote it to the Ephesians.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with a promise: 3 “That it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” – Ephesians 6:1-3
It is easy to overlook the importance of this verse in Jesus’ life. But if He had not obeyed it, He would have broken the law, making it impossible for Him to die as the sacrifice for all our sins. Instead, He would have had to die to pay the price for His own sins.
Looking beyond the verses quoted above, we find that Paul included some very important advice to parents, especially to fathers.
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4
It is safe to say that Joseph did this, even though the Bible doesn’t tell us that He did. We can gather that from Jesus’ response to him, specifically from Jesus obeying him in all things. God had chosen this man to be the surrogate father for His own Son, and He chose well. Jesus had an earthly father who not only taught him properly, but didn’t provoke Him to wrath either.
While we are to obey and honor our parents, that doesn’t mean that parents can command that honor if they are not worthy of it. That’s why this is stated along with not provoking our children. A father who demands respect from his children, without earning it, is pushing them to sin. Joseph didn’t do that and we shouldn’t either.
This can become problematic for children, when parents try to force them to do things that go against the Word of God. The first of all the commandments contains the words “You shall have no other gods before Me” (Exodus 20:3). But what about a situation where the parents worship some other god or even just don’t worship Jehovah God? Children are then forced into the position of disobeying their parents, in order to obey God. They must do so without speaking disrespectfully to their parents; but they must obey God, who is the higher authority.
What Does it Mean to Honor Our Parents?
Between honoring and obeying our parents, honoring is the most important. As I just mentioned, speaking of idolatry, there may be times when it is necessary to disobey parents. Not all parents are godly and some will tell their children to do things that are sinful. That is no excuse to sin. There isn’t one list of sins for adults and another for children. We all are ultimately responsible before God for our own actions and must obey Him.
But just because a parent tells their child to do something that goes against God’s command, doesn’t give the child the right to be disrespectful to their parents or to not honor them. Granted, it can be difficult to honor someone who doesn’t seem worthy of that honor; but that’s not an acceptable excuse. We must seek out reasons to honor them and do so based on that reason, ignoring whatever reasons or excuses we might see to not honor them.
Here are a few reasons why children should honor their parents, regardless of what the parents do:
- Your parents brought you into this world; you owe them your life.
- Your parents provide for you, regardless of how well they do so.
- Your parents have been charged by God to care for you and train you. That’s a heavy burden to carry.
- Your parents will have to answer to God for the work they did in raising you.
- Your parents represent God’s authority in your life.
Honoring our parents doesn’t stop when we grow up; it is a lifelong charge. We see this clearly expressed by Jesus, as He was hanging on the cross. Even though He was dying, He took the time to make sure that His mother would be cared for.
When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved (John) standing by, He said to his mother, “Woman, behold your son!” (referring to John) 27 Then He said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home. – John 19:26-27
What makes these particular verses amazing is that Jesus had brothers and sisters who could have and probably would have cared for his mother, Mary. Even so, He was the oldest and saw it as His responsibility to make sure that His mother would be properly cared for. All this, while He was hanging on the cross, dying. That’s honoring His mother.
Honoring and Obeying Parents Teaches us to Honor and Obey God
Ultimately, we are to honor and obey God Himself, something that many believers have trouble doing, let alone those who don’t believe in Him. What makes it so hard for us to do? Probably several things.
If we never learn how to obey our parents, giving them the honor that they are due, we will have trouble obeying and honoring any other authority in our lives. This not only includes God, but also teachers, bosses, the police and government officials. But it is God who is the most important. We must learn how to honor and obey our parents, so that we can learn how to honor and obey God.
Obedience, like rebellion, is something that comes in stages. One can be truly obedient or truly rebellious. But there is an infinite number of shadings in-between. Yet we can only say that we are truly obedient to God, when we obey Him in all things, with all that is within us; when His will is our will and His desire is our own. Jesus exemplified this, saying, “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son does also in like manner” (John 5:19).
Jesus apparently understood his obedience to His Father as an act of love. He tells us to do much the same, saying:
If you love me, keep My commandments. – John 14:15
One might ask which of His commandments to keep, much like the rich young ruler asked Him which of the Ten Commandments he should keep (Matthew 19:18). The point isn’t that we keep only certain commandments, but that we keep all of His commandments. That includes both the 613 in the Old Testament and the more than 1,000 in the New, with the exception of those in the Old Testament Law that Jesus specifically said were no longer necessary or those made unnecessary by His death and resurrection (specifically applies to those laws about the sacrificial system).
We struggle with this, because our own sin nature pushes us to do what we want to do, rather than what God wants us to do. One of the biggest signs of our spiritual maturity is how well we willingly submit our will to that of God. The better we can do that, the more like Jesus we become.
There are those who think they honor God because they go to church and sing songs of praise to Him, all while still living a life of habitual sin. They aren’t fooling God. God recognizes all that is going on in their lives. Who they are fooling is themselves, by thinking they are honoring God. Our God is much more concerned with how we live for him “on the streets,” than He is concerned with how we act when we are in church. We are all capable of putting on a mask and pretending to be “prefect Christians” in church; but it’s much harder to be that perfect Christian when we’re out in the world, dealing with real life.